Disclaimer: that I rarely write about my personal life but I thought this was a story worth mentioning before I write this, I should note. Some elements of it are very comical, as much meet-the-parents tales are, but please realize that i’m in no method offending or belittling the mentioned facets of Korean tradition. i am just showcasing the awkwardness that may arise when East sometimes Meets West when it comes to relationships. In addition believe that this whole tale will help other foreigners in comparable situations get ready for just just what they could encounter.
With only per month left in Korea, my boyfriend, Yongguen, considered me personally as well as in a no-nonsense tone announced me to meet his parents that he wanted.
In Korea, the organization of dating is much more black-and-white than it really is within the western. There’s none of the “It really is complicated. ” “we are speaking. ” “we are texting”. “we have been dating for a 12 months but we nevertheless have actuallyn’t had the DTR (determining the partnership) talk. ” No. None of this. After 2 or 3 times with somebody, it is immediately thought that an relationship that is exclusive been created. Additionally, the quantity of time a couple of in Korea times is measured in something such as dog years. Just What Westerners might look at a limited time- 100 times, as an example- Koreans start thinking about monumental. Once you understand this, we made certain to describe to my boyfriend in early stages (the very first date) we do things only a little differently into the western. Comprehending that we’d be making Korea, we also told him that i did not desire any such thing severe.
We enlisted the aid of my girlfriends that are korean. Each had different things to express, a number of their advice contradictory. “Wear a dress that is cute heels .” “Wear something casual so that you’re perhaps not trying too much.” “Bring them a present.” “Don’t bring them a present.” “cannot talk you questions. unless they ask” Well, we knew i possibly could continue with this bit that is last of, seeing that my Korean abilities are not the greatest.
If the day finally arrived, we invested the whole afternoon getting prepared. We settled for a good gown- absolutely nothing fancy- and heels, channeling my internal Koreaness. We headed to Mokdong to arrive at the restaurant where my boyfriend along with his sibling had been waiting.
Used to don’t mind fulfilling the cousin. He did not talk English that is much but had been relaxed sufficient. We attempted to speak to him about things we knew he had been thinking about, mostly US television shows. Soon, the moms and dads arrived. I stood up to bow appropriately and wish the dad a happy birthday, a Korean phrase I had practiced 100 times that day as they took their seats. These were friendly enough and commented on what good I seemed. I really could inform these people were a bit uncertain and uncomfortable in what to do. I noticed at the table next to us a Korean family and Western girl about my age as they chatted in Korean. I possibly could note that the exact same thing that is exact taking place at their dining dining table, that is strange because it’s extremely unusual in Seoul. Yongguen’s moms and dads quickly saw the ditto and got a kick from the jawhorse.
We started enjoying our meal and things had been going extremely efficiently. There is some little talk carried away. About 50 % one hour passed away ahead of the awkward meeting started.
Yongguen looked to me personally together with an expression that is worried their face. “I’m maybe perhaps perhaps not asking some of these concerns. I am just translating. And I also’m sorry,” he noted before relaying exactly exactly what their moms and dads asked. “therefore, you clean our ancestral graves? in the event that you two get hitched,” his dad started, “will” WTF. Okay. I’d maybe maybe not ready with this. Luckily I experienced read some publications thus I had been partly conscious of why Koreans worship their ancestors and tend to be constant in beolcho (tidying up their grave web internet web sites). With out a beat, the sorority president I think that if somebody marries another from another type of tradition, she should respect that culture’s traditions. in me personally arrived utilizing the perfect meeting answer, “” I also casually mentioned that i did not need to get hitched any time in the future. These people were quite pleased with this response and proceeded consuming.
I was thinking We became in the clear whenever only a couple of minutes later their mother chimed in, “Have you got the concept of taemong in America?” “Ummm. exactly what’s taemong ?” we asked Yongguen. He explained if you ask me 
that in Korea, whenever women can be expecting, either they or shut relatives that are female friends could have desires that predict the delivery of the kid. Specific things dreamed about suggest certain areas of the baby-to-be. As an example, then the baby will be a girl if an aunt dreams about fruit. We quickly remembered a discussion my boyfriend and I also had and therefore their mom imagined a dragon whenever she ended up being expecting with him, hince the ” Yong ” inside the title, meaning dragon. We started initially to think about a number of the old spouses stories that we now have in the us but no body actually thinks for the reason that stuff today. Koreans, nonetheless, highly rely on taemong .
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. The thing that was we gonna say to appease her? I had become simple on that one and merely responded, “No, we do not have any such thing like this in the usa.” She don’t look happy. Yongguen took an attempt of soju . We seemed over the table at their bro whom, having a grin across their face, ended up being experiencing the awkwardness of the situation.
Finally, the supper completed. We stated goodbye to his parents and Yongguen, their bro, and I also met up with regards to relative for some rounds of beverages. I felt fine but my boyfriend was more stressed than I would ever seen him, quickly became intoxicated, and had been placed to rest early.
I chatted to him the evening that is next after he had invested the afternoon together with family members. He explained that I had received the seal of approval from their moms and dads. I was loved by them. okay. All that stressing for absolutely nothing.
Then explained his dad wished to simply just take me off to Chuncheon for a few dalk galbi , my personal favorite food that is korean. We felt my belly fall. Maybe maybe Not once more.
Overall, every thing went well. We never ever felt judged by my boyfriend’s family members and even though the concerns had been a lot more severe than any such thing we might talk about in a comparable meet-the-parents situation into the West, i am convinced that these people were more interested than any such thing. Without having traveled outside Korea, their moms and dads wished to learn more about my tradition, that will be understandable. While there may nevertheless be some parents and older generations that do not need to see their kiddies marry from the Korean battle (even when they reside in Western nations) things are progressing. Individuals are becoming more available minded and comprehension of the times that are changing.